I knew Jane stole a valentine
to me from Douglas Ryan,
and when I asked her for it back,
that’s when she started lyin’.
She said, “I never touched that thing.
Why would you think I had?”
I knew that she was lying,
so I started getting mad!
“I know you did. You needn’t lie.”
(Her theft I hadn’t seen.)
“The reason that you took that card
is cause you’re jealous green.”
“You’re nuts,” she said, “you’re really nuts!”
while tears rolled down her cheeks,
so then I said, “Doug likes me best,
and you’ve loved him for weeks.”
The kids all took sides, one by one;
soon everyone was mad.
It was the world’s worst day of love
the world has ever had.
So when I got home with my stack
of valentines and stuff,
my mother took one look at me
and knew my day’d been rough.
Still mad about the missing card,
I slumped down in a chair,
and had a little crying jag
beneath my mother’s stare.
She crouched beside me as I cried
and then gave me a hug,
while picking up a valentine,
she softly said, “Who’s Doug?”