Other Things #14 – A Night of Danger!

Years ago, I was having my mother, aunt, uncle over for dinner one evening, and naturally, there were several things to do in preparation. Besides making the dinner, I wanted to get the house looking its best because my aunt and uncle were from out-of-town and weren’t over often. I asked my husband if he would wash the floor in the front hall, and one of my jobs was to dust the living room.

I really hate dusting, and as the day went on, the more I thought about dusting, the less I wanted to do it. I then reasoned that it wasn’t vital that I actually did dust because it would be dark when my guests arrived, and having studied dust for some years, I knew that “moderate dust”, which is what I was dealing with, wouldn’t be seen because there would be no sunshine exposing it. That was a happy thought for me as I was making my pie crust, and I decided that I would cross dusting off my job list. I had also decided to do a little something to add to the illusion that the place was spotless.

By the time my mother, Aunt Edith, and Uncle Syd arrived, I was feeling happy and fantastically competent! The pie I’d made was a thing of beauty, and dinner smelled wonderful. The house was in order and everything looked as good as it possibly could, invisible dust and all.

When the doorbell rang, I went to open the door and was stunned by how slippery the linoleum floor in the front hall was, and I wondered what my husband had done to it. It was downright treacherous. I opened the door and immediately told my guests that they needed to be really careful as Nathan had washed the floor and it was extremely slippery. I still remember seeing those three senior citizens inching across that stretch of floor, all of them looking nervous and remarking that indeed it was slippery. My husband was likewise mystified by the condition of the floor, and when the evening drew to an end, once again, Mom, Aunt Edith, and Uncle Syd took their time crossing the dangerous stretch of linoleum.

It wasn’t until later that I realized why the floor was like it was. Because I wanted my company to walk into the house and believe the place was spotless, I had taken my can of Lemon Pledge Polish Spray and generously sprayed the front hall area. I thought the smell of Pledge that would greet my company would create the impression that the house was well-dusted. No doubt I was right about that. However, I am forever grateful that we didn’t have to call an ambulance that evening to pick up one, two, or even three elderly people with broken hips.