Children’s Poetry and Other Things
I was really mad today
and here’s the reason why.
The Tooth Fairly just didn’t show up
and that sure made me cry.
The biggest tooth I ever grew
fell out right after dinner,
and since that darn tooth was so big,
I knew I had a winner.
I’d thought of all the stuff I’d buy
which really made me glad,
but since that fairy didn’t pay up,
this morning I was mad.
But now, I have a lot of cash
because I’m sure not dumb.
That crazy fairy missed her chance —
I sold my tooth to Mom!
“Irresponsible”
Norman had to mow the lawn
until he cut the cord.
“You must be more responsible!”
was what his father roared.
Then Norman had to pull some weeds;
ten minutes felt like hours.
“You must be more responsible,”
said Mom, “You’ve pulled the flowers!”
Norman’s irresponsible,
but this fact makes him smirk.
His irresponsibility
saves him a lot of work.
Benny’s our new puppy,
and he’s been really bad.
While watching him this morning,
I went to help my dad.
That puppy went just crazy,
all throughout our home,
cause I forgot to pen him,
so what he did was roam.
He went into the family room
and pooed right on the floor
and that was not the worst of it —
there really was much more.
He chewed my mother’s slippers!
He chewed my sister’s doll!
And my brother’s baseball mitt!
And that wasn’t all!
He went into the kitchen
and chewed a flour bag.
The flour got just everywhere
that puppy’s tail did wag!
In the main floor bathroom,
the toilet paper roll
was chewed into a massive pile
beside the toilet bowl.
Now my family’s angry
and I get all the blame,
but when it comes to Benny,
they love him just the same!
After all the yelling,
I told my parents that
from here on in I only plan
to supervise our cat.
I got a haircut yesterday
and now I wear a cap.
The barber seemed to lose his mind —
his barber chair, my trap!
I said, “Just take a little off.”
He said, “Okay, will do.”
So on my phone, I played a game
and didn’t, the process, view.
At last the man said, “I’m all done”,
and I looked at his mirrors.
My chin was wobbling as I paid,
and I fought back my tears.
I’ve been real mad since yesterday
cause I know I look dumb,
so next time I go for a trim,
I’m going to take my mom!
“The Easy Choice”
I’d really like to be a clown
and dress in silly clothes.
I’d like to wear those great big shoes
and wear a big, red nose.
Yes, circus life sure looks like fun
and for it I do hanker,
or maybe I’ll be like my dad
and end up as a banker.
I said, “The choice will not be hard!”
Mom said, “That’s really great!”
I said, “The circus seems the best.”
Mom said, “That’s cause you’re eight.”
My family had a camping trip,
but things did not go well.
It was a first for all of us
as anyone could tell.
No doubt it would have been quite fun —
had there been no storm,
and had the tent not sprung a leak,
and if it had been warm.
No doubt we would have cooked our meal
over burning wood,
had my father brought his torch —
it would have tasted good.
No doubt we would have gotten sleep,
had there been no rain,
and my sister would have done
more than just complain.
No doubt we just imagined things —
there probably was no bear.
There probably was no big bad wolf
whose howl caused quite a scare.
No doubt, except for all these things,
it would have been a blast,
yet when it comes to camping trips,
no doubt that is our last.
In Mrs. Rose’s classroom,
each year it’s just the same.
According to the alphabet
each student sits by name.
Matt Bower is the lucky guy
who sits by Becky Cross.
Stan Stewart whispers through the day
to pretty Maggie Ross.
Sarah Grayson gets to sit
with her friend, Sally Glass,
and Mrs. Rose just never sees
the notes they always pass.
Ronald Leeman smuggles gum
behind to Larry Mann.
It’s just another reason why
I hate this seating plan.
The final row is where I’m stuck
with stupid Cameron Whit,
who is the biggest reason why
I hate the place I sit.
He always whispers when he reads
and sneezes lots each day,
and sometimes when he talks to me,
I feel a little spray.
I know he’s really not so bad
and I’m just being mean,
but it’s because I want to sit
with my friend, Tommy Green.
There’s someone who I long to meet
and punch right in the nose
because he taught the alphabet
so well to Mrs. Rose.
“Self-satisfaction”
I like my toes, I really do!
I also like my fingers too.
In fact, there’s not a part of me
that needs to change, from what I see.
Because of this, I cannot say,
“improvement” is my goal today.
Do something — yes, I really should,
because I’m sure — it will be good!
We got new neighbours yesterday,
but none of them I’ve seen.
My sister, Molly, said she has
and she said that they’re green.
I told my mom what Molly said;
she laughed and said, “No way!”
But Molly sure looked serious,
so I went out to play.
Out in the yard, I played around,
but really tried to spy
on those green neighbours cause, you see,
Molly said, “No lie!”
Out in their yard, I spied some things
that made me stop and drool.
They have a great big trampoline!
They have a great big pool!
They have a great big fuzzy dog —
real friendly and not mean,
so I’ve decided, at this point,
my favourite colour’s green.
My sister dyed her hair blue,
when Mom went out to shop.
Her timing was just perfect —
no one could make her stop.
Once dyed, she sat there staring
at all her long, blue hair,
and when I saw my sister,
I too began to stare.
The day will get exciting,
I know — when Mom returns.
Mom really will be angry!
In me — excitement burns!
You see, I am the off-spring
who usually causes grief,
but now my blue-haired sister
is giving me relief.
My mother will be focussed
upon that hair so blue,
and so she might not notice
what I’d not meant to do.
Today, I broke a big lamp,
then lots of glue I spilled,
so now I’m sure you understand
why blue hair has me thrilled.
