Sally’s First Laundry Day

Sally thought she’d do a wash

while Mom was in the yard

planting all the vegetables.

Sal thought it wouldn’t be hard.

She threw in dirty clothes she found,

some blue, some red, some white,

and several other colours.

She’d wash them with delight.

On the washer she read dials

and made the water “hot”.

Then she poured detergent in,

and I mean quite a lot.

Of course, she learned what not to do,

and she was really sad,

cause after drying all the clothes,

she saw that they looked bad!

Several things had shrunken lots,

and so could not be worn.

Sally ruined her favourite jeans,

and that sure made her mourn.

Dad’s white shirts were pinky pink,

just like Mom’s white skirt.

“But,” sobbed Sally to her folks,

“Notice — there’s no dirt!”

The Final Fit

Sarah was a bratty girl:

she wanted things her way,

and if she wasn’t happy,

she put on a display.

She’d pout and cry and stomp her foot.

She’d flop right on the floor,

and her mother would turn red

if they were in a store.

But then one day, while in a shop,

she threw her final fit,

because a big boy walking by

said she was just a twit.

When Sarah heard his words that day,

her fit came to a stop.

She look around, embarrassed,

at the people in the shop.

Now today, she’s not a brat.

In fact, she just spreads joy,

hoping that she’ll meet again

that truly handsome boy!

Benny Got a Pogo Stick

Benny got a pogo stick

which really was a shame,

cause pogoing his way through town

became his only aim.

He climbed up on his pogo stick,

and he began to bound,

plunging off whatever thing

that reckless twit-head found.

He pogoed off a great big rock!

He pogoed off a fence!

He pogoed off the neighbours’ dog

which made the neighbours tense.

He pogoed to a parking lot

and pogoed off some cars,

then pogoed to a children’s park

and off the monkey bars!

He unnerved everyone he met,

and none could make him stop,

until that silly, reckless boy

pogoed off a cop!

The Pillow Fight

Our pillow fight was lots of fun;

at least, it was at first.

In fact, we laughed hysterically

until our pillows burst.

Feathers filled my brother’s room

where we had had our fight.

Yes, cause of feathers everywhere,

the whole room turned to white.

And when we opened up the door,

some feathers filled the hall,

and then more floated down the stairs,

and that sure wasn’t all.

The family room and kitchen too

by feathers were consumed,

and when we saw them everywhere,

we knew that we were doomed.

When from the store, our mom returned,

she nearly lost her mind,

cause feathers floated everywhere,

so thick — she was half-blind!

I won’t describe what happened next,

but no doubt you can guess.

In the end, we had to clean

that truly horrible mess.

And so I must warn every kid

who wants to pillow fight.

For a month, once homework’s done,

you’ll vacuum every night!

The Final Argument

Bobby loved to argue lots.

In fact, that’s all he’d do.

Once he even argued that

the sky was never blue.

He argued that the world was flat,

and no way was it round.

He said, “If you’ll just take a look,

you’ll see how flat the ground.”

He once said down was really up

and that up was down.

He was just so ridiculous,

most said he was a clown.

But then one day, somebody said,

“You really are quite right.

You seem to know what is the truth

because you are so bright!”

Cause Bobby loved to argue lots,

he said, “That’s just not true.”

He said, “The point you’re missing is

I really have no clue!”

When Bobby heard his silly words,

he stopped and said no more.

The boy was so embarrassed that

he headed for the door.

Since that day, he’s changed a lot.

He’s different as can be,

cause anything someone will say,

he’ll smile and just agree.

I Want To Be a Cowboy

I want to be a cowboy.

I think it would be fun.

I’d get to ride a big horse.

I’d get to tote a gun.

I’d get to wear a big hat.

I’d buy one that is black,

and there’d be a leather vest

covering my back.

I’d spend my days relaxing,

just riding on my horse.

I’d look just like a hero

and act like one, of course.

But this will never happen.

There is no way, no how.

The trouble is I’m terrified

of each and every cow.

This poem was inspired by a post written by Herb Thiel on his terrific blog, “The Haps With Herb”, as well as by Herb’s black cowboy hat.

The Not-so-great Outdoors

I’m standing here with dear old Dad,

fishing from this shore.

We’ve been here several hours now,

and my arm’s getting sore.

We’ve caught no fish, but I can tell

my dad just loves it here.

He says that chances are quite good

that we will see some deer.

We have to whisper when we talk

so we don’t scare the fish,

and that we go home really soon

is now my greatest wish.

It’s now quite late — we’re heading home.

No fish are in the trunk.

The only wildlife that we met

was one big angry skunk!

Cards With Fred

Last night my parents tucked me in

and said no monster hid

in my closet or my drawers,

and so “Good night” they bid.

As I settled down to sleep,

I thought I heard a sound.

T’was down beneath my double bed —

I froze first — then I frowned.

My closet and my drawers were safe,

but what about my bed?

Shortly after I thought that,

I met the monster, Fred.

Fred was big and hairy too.

He had some warts and claws,

and as you can imagine,

to see him made me pause.

“Hey, Kid,” he said, “don’t be afraid.

I can’t help how I look.

Most monsters are the nicest guys,

unlike those in a book.”

He had a deck of card with him,

and so we played a while.

Fred really was the greatest guy,

and he could make me smile.

He told some jokes and we sure laughed,

and then I went to sleep.

After that, I must assume,

Fred, from my room, did creep.

I told my folks about the night

and said what fun I’d had.

I said my monster’s name was Fred,

and he sure made me glad.

My folks said I’d just had a dream

and I thought, “What the heck!”

And I believed them up until

I found Fred Monster’s deck!

The Trampoline

Dennis had a trampoline

which really was a shame,

and maybe, when I think of it,

his parents were to blame.

They knew their boy was quite a brat

and reckless as could be,

so giving him a trampoline

was dumb — you must agree.

Of course, the boy jumped far too high

and landed on a roof,

and Dennis thought this wonderful

because the boy’s a goof.

Of course, he saw the chimney there

and so climbed right inside,

and dropped into the fireplace

where Dennis soon was spied.

Naturally, the police were called,

and Dennis went to jail.

Naturally, to get him out,

his parents posted bail.

Of course, his folks were quite upset

as any folks would be.

They took away the trampoline.

Good move — you must agree.

Because the boy was still so young,

the charges soon were dropped,

and cause there was no trampoline,

his crime spree had been stopped.

But cause his folks love Dennis lots,

not wanting to be mean,

they bought their boy a great big drone

since he can’t trampoline.

Canadian Spring

It’s snowing really hard right now,

this twenty-fourth of May,

and cause the weather is so bad,

outside I just can’t play.

I should be on my bike right now

or fishing at the lake.

This rotten snow storm really is

just more than I can take.

I should be playing baseball

or swimming at the pool,

but I can’t do my favourite things

cause Mother Nature’s cruel.

My parents couldn’t be happier —

they welcome every flake!

They’re playing cards and eating chips

cause they can’t weed or rake!