When Bob took off his sock one night, the poor boy got an awful fright, for there beside his great big toe he saw another start to grow! “Good grief!” he said, “This is all wrong. A toe right there just won’t belong. Ten toes, not more, is standard fare. An extra toe will beContinue reading “The Spare Toe”
Tag Archives: humor
Piano Lessons
I wanted to take lessons and play our piano well with “Mary Had a Little Lamb” and “Farmer in the Dell”. And so my mother got me a teacher named Miss Dunn, but now I’m s’posed to practice and practicing’s no fun. Miss Dunn says, “Curve your fingers.” Miss Dunn says, “Count each bar.” ButContinue reading “Piano Lessons”
Revenge on Benny
I used to think my dog was great — right now, I wonder why! You see, he ruined my favourite doll, and that sure made me cry. I yelled at Benny really loud and showed him what he’d done. His tail went down, his ears did too, and off that dog did run. He’s inContinue reading “Revenge on Benny”
Potty Training
My mother’s trying to potty train my little brother, Bob, but when she sits him on the pot, he will not do the job. He sits until my mom decides the time must not be right. His big boy pants are then pulled up, which fills him with delight. It’s after Bob goes off toContinue reading “Potty Training”
The Lemonade Stand
Jamie said that we’d have fun and make a lot of money. My sister said our plans were dumb and laughed and called us funny. We planned to sell some lemonade for fifty cents a cup. My mother helped us made a jug and things were looking up. A card table and kitchen chairs wereContinue reading “The Lemonade Stand”
The Worst Valentine’s Day
I knew Jane stole a valentine to me from Douglas Ryan, and when I asked her for it back, that’s when she started lyin’. She said, “I never touched that thing. Why would you think I had?” I knew that she was lying, so I started getting mad! “I know you did. You needn’t lie.”Continue reading “The Worst Valentine’s Day”
Dating in Grade Two
There is a new girl in our class who Tommy said he likes. He talked about her all the time that we rode on our bikes. He said that he would ask her out and asked me what to do. I told him he was acting dumb since we’re just in grade two. So now,Continue reading “Dating in Grade Two”
The Christmas Pig
A mean old woman bought a pig cause pork she liked to eat. She planned to fatten up the hog and named the poor pig “Pete”. Now Pete was not a stupid beast — he knew what she had planned, and starring on a menu was just more than he could stand! Pete’s pen wasContinue reading “The Christmas Pig”
Regrets (Contemplating a Letter to Santa)
Last night I just couldn’t get to sleep. I tossed and turned all night, cause Santa Claus is coming soon, which fills me with great fright. You see, I’ve done some things this year that now — I sure regret, and thinking of those things I’ve done is making me now fret. I think I’llContinue reading “Regrets (Contemplating a Letter to Santa)”
A Letter to Santa
My sister wrote to Santa Claus because of things I’ve done. She thinks I’ll make his “naughty list”. I think those things were fun. I squirted her with water and I scared her really bad. She said I wasn’t funny and just got really mad! And so she wrote her letter, and mailed it thatContinue reading “A Letter to Santa”
The Lonely Meatball 