Waiting for Santa

For Santa Claus I’m waiting here

crouched down behind this chair,

cause never having met him

is just more than I can bear.

I have so many questions ‘bout

Rudolph and the team;

if I don’t get some answers soon,

I know that I will scream.

I want to know how reindeer fly!

I want to know how fast!

I want to know how they can see

if skies are overcast!

I want to know how long they sleep

once they have made their trip!

I want to know why, from a roof,

their little hooves don’t slip!

I’m yawning now and kind of tired —

I think I’ll rest my head,

but I won’t go to sleep because

I ————-

Other Things 23 – Poemlet 17

“Short and Tall”

My brother, Steve, has gotten tall,

as tall as our own dad.

He likes to call me “Shorty”

because it makes me mad.

He rests his elbow on my head

until I scream out “Steven!”

But I know soon there’ll come a day

when I will sure get even.

You see, I wear my brother’s clothes

he wore at age eleven.

Oh yes — he’ll be the short one soon,

‘cause I am only seven!

The Christmas Concert

The Christmas concert sure was fun

though Miss Blake’s still upset.

Because so many things went wrong,

she’s not recovered yet.

The truth is Clarence is a pain

so got what he deserved,

and since that evening, Clarence

has been thoroughly unnerved.

Clarence Henry was the star

of Miss Blake’s Christmas play.

She said his acting was “Superb!”

on each rehearsal day.

Yes, Clarence Henry really thought

that he was just so great,

for little did Miss Blake or he

know what would be his fate.

The concert was a big event

and everybody came.

Clarence Henry told us all

his role would bring him fame.

The play would start at eight o’clock;

the hour did arrive,

and still today, I wonder how

old Clarence did survive.

In the centre of the stage

he stood and all was still.

The sight of all those happy folks

sure seemed to make him ill.

Clarence Henry smiled a bit

and then his eyes just rolled,

and then in front of everyone

poor Clarence seemed to fold.

He fell into the Christmas tree

which fell on top of Meg,

who started screaming frantically,

“I think it broke my leg!”

A bunch of girls began to scream,

and some girls even cried.

Because poor Clarence lay so still,

they thought that he had died.

Backstage there was a billy goat

we’d borrowed for the play.

The beast was tied securely

and just munching on some hay.

While the girls were screaming

and poor Clarence lay onstage,

suddenly, that goat was freed

which started his rampage.

They want to know who freed that goat

which was the final straw

in ending that fiasco,

but I’m certain — NO ONE SAW!

Eventually, it all worked out

and Clarence sure was right.

Just like our star predicted —

he’s been famous since that night!

This poem was originally published in 2001, in my book, The New Toe – poems to tickle your funnybone.

Sisterhood

My sister’s home from college

and that sure makes me smile,

because I know her secret —

I’ve known it for a while.

I told her that I’d seen it,

her little tattooed rose,

but both my folks know nothing.

It’s underneath her clothes.

My sister now plays Barbies

with me, from three to four,

and after makes me coco,

the drink that I adore.

She’s never been so loving

to me, her little sis,

and when she leaves for college,

my sister I will miss.

As long as we play Barbies

and have our coco hot,

I’ll keep her rose my secret,

the only one I’ve got.

Other Things #22 – Poemlet #16

“The Drag”

I have to walk our great big dog

whose name is Mr. Wag,

and since I am a little kid,

he takes me for a drag.

Waggy drags me down the street,

then drags me to the park,

and as we go from tree to tree,

at other dogs, he’ll bark.

These daily walks are not much fun,

though Wag would not agree,

and I’ll survive them, I expect,

if cats he does not see.

Writer’s Block

I have to write a story

for Mrs. Burton’s class,

and if I don’t write something,

I won’t receive a pass.

And so I think my story

will be about a spy,

or maybe a magician,

or maybe just some guy.

Or maybe I will write

about some little pigs,

and they will build some houses —

one brick, one hay, one twigs.

Mom says I can’t write stories

the same as ones I’ve read,

so as I lie here thinking,

I’m really filled with dread.

Cause I can think of nothing

no matter how I try.

Yes, when it comes to stories,

I’m really not your guy.

And so I wrote my story —

could think of nothing more,

and Mrs. Burton will agree,

my day was quite a bore!

Dancing in Phys. Ed.

I used to love phys.ed. at school,

but lately, I do not.

It’s cause of what we have to do;

it’s dancing that’s being taught.

With Suzy Cameron in my arms,

I know I turn beet red.

Instead of dancing with that girl,

I wish I could drop dead.

I step on Suzy’s toes a lot.

She steps on my toes too.

Why we must learn to dance at all,

I haven’t got a clue.

I never talk to her at all,

and neither do I glance.

I act as though I am alone,

the whole time that we dance.

Yes, I’ll ignore her to the end,

and here’s the reason why —

if she finds out she’s my true love,

I know that I will die!

Other Things #21 – Poemlet #15

“Mary’s Cowboy Hat”

Mary bought a cowboy hat

and wears the hat to school.

The trouble is a cowboy hat

is not considered “cool”.

But Mary loves that cowboy hat

so wears the hat each day,

and cause she is so confident,

that hat is going to stay.

Now all the kids wear cowboy hats

every day to school,

and even though they hate the things,

they think that Mary’s cool.

Boo!

The front hall closet’s where I’m hid,

behind a winter coat,

and as I stand here quietly,

I know that soon I’ll gloat.

You see, my sister, yesterday,

scared me half to death.

I vowed that I’d get even,

once I’d caught my breath.

She laughed and called me “Scaredy-cat”.

I yelled and said, “You’ll pay!”

And cause I am committed,

I’ve not gone out to play.

I know, in time, she’ll walk this hall.

I’ll leap out and scream “BOO!”

for if I want to get revenge —

that’s what I have to do.

I must be patient, that I know,

if my plan’s going to work.

Yes, I can see her screaming loud

and calling me a jerk.

Two hours I have hidden here

and this place is a bore.

My legs are tired of standing still,

so I’ll sit on the floor.

I’m now at dinner with my folks

and my sister too,

and I’m feeling really dumb,

but now know what I’ll do.

You see, my mother found me

in the closet on the floor.

She said that she’d heard something —

the sound was my own snore.

My new plan is much better!

My sister will feel dread,

for I’ll scream “BOO!” at ten o’clock

from right beneath her bed!

Little Bob

Little Bob was quite the boy.

His favourite thing was to annoy

anyone who was around,

and annoy them he was bound.

He loved to hiccup really loud

and of his hiccups — he seemed proud!

These hiccups truly were not fact,

cause Little Bob put on an act.

At school, Bob was just a brat.

He’d scream, then say he’d seen a rat,

so all the kids would start to cry,

too young to know it was a lie.

Bob’s teacher, Mrs. Brown, was tough.

One day, she’d simply had enough.

Bob was “seeing” rats galore,

and screaming til she screamed, “NO MORE!”

She took Bob by his little hand,

and at the front, she made him stand.

She told her class to, at Bob, stare,

and, Mrs. Brown, at Bob, did glare.

As the class all stared ahead,

Bob’s whole face soon turned bright red.

He stood there feeling like a fool,

and after — saw no rats at school.

Embarrassment is sure no fun,

and with it, Bob was surely done,

so his advice for all who clown,

is to avoid that Mrs. Brown!