One day, after gulping down
a big tuna fish sandwich,
I got the hiccups.
Hiccup! Hiccup!
I hate hiccups!
”Breathe into this bag,”
my mother said,
so I did.
I breathed,
and breathed,
and breathed.
No hiccups!
Obviously, I’d trapped them
in the bag.
I threw the bag into the garbage,
but then – hiccup! Hiccup!
I hate hiccups!
“BOO!” screamed my brother.
”AAAHHHH!” I yelled.
No hiccups!
Hey! My stupid brother scared them
out of me,
but then — hiccup! Hiccup!
I hate hiccups!
”Hold your breath,” my sister said,
so I did.
I held it,
and held it,
and held it.
WHOOOSSSSHHHH.
I couldn’t hold it any longer.
No hiccups!
I’d suffocated them,
but then — hiccup! Hiccup!
I hate hiccups!
”Okay,” said my dad,
”I’ll pay you $5.00
for your next hiccup!”
I stared at him — astonished.
I waited,
and prayed,
and waited,
and prayed,
and waited,
and prayed,
for a whole hour!
No hiccups!
I REALLY hate hiccups!
The Lonely Meatball 
Interesting gamble, dad.
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You know, I heard about that technique and that it’s rather effective. It might have even been tried on me when I was a child, but I’m not sure about that.
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lol. I never thought of it. But I still have some chances coming up, maybe.
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Ha, ha! Very cute!
When I was 22, I was working in a very ritzy dress shop. At lunch one day, I drank a Sprite and got the hiccups. They lasted a couple of hours, despite the best efforts of co-workers and kindly customers, alike. You wouldn’t believe how sore that left my abdomen! Anyway, I have never had a Sprite since.
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That is definitely one of those days that you never forget. Aren’t you happy you didn’t get hiccups after eating chocolate!
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Trust me: if chocolate were the problem, I would take the hit!
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It would be worth it.
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