The Christmas concert sure was fun
though Miss Blake’s still upset.
Because so many things went wrong,
she’s not recovered yet.
The truth is Clarence is a pain
so got what he deserved,
and since that evening, Clarence
has been thoroughly unnerved.
Clarence Henry was the star
of Miss Blake’s Christmas play.
She said his acting was “Superb!”
on each rehearsal day.
Yes, Clarence Henry really thought
that he was just so great,
for little did Miss Blake or he
know what would be his fate.
The concert was a big event
and everybody came.
Clarence Henry told us all
his role would bring him fame.
The play would start at eight o’clock;
the hour did arrive,
and still today, I wonder how
old Clarence did survive.
In the centre of the stage
he stood and all was still.
The sight of all those happy folks
sure seemed to make him ill.
Clarence Henry smiled a bit
and then his eyes just rolled,
and then in front of everyone
poor Clarence seemed to fold.
He fell into the Christmas tree
which fell on top of Meg,
who started screaming frantically,
“I think it broke my leg!”
A bunch of girls began to scream,
and some girls even cried.
Because poor Clarence lay so still,
they thought that he had died.
Backstage there was a billy goat
we’d borrowed for the play.
The beast was tied securely
and just munching on some hay.
While the girls were screaming
and poor Clarence lay onstage,
suddenly, that goat was freed
which started his rampage.
They want to know who freed that goat
which was the final straw
in ending that fiasco,
but I’m certain — NO ONE SAW!
Eventually, it all worked out
and Clarence sure was right.
Just like our star predicted —
he’s been famous since that night!
This poem was originally published in 2001, in my book, The New Toe – poems to tickle your funnybone.