Children’s Poetry and Other Things
I’d really like to be a cat,
and sleep throughout the day,
or maybe I would just decide
to spend my time in play.
No one would ask if homework’s done.
My job would be to purr,
and if I got ambitious, well,
I guess I’d clean my fur.
The only problem, I suspect,
my cat life would include,
is that I’d have to somehow eat
that horrible, smelly food!
I’m eating lots and lots of food
so I’ll grow big and tall.
You see, I just don’t have much fun
since I am short and small.
My best friend Hank’s an elephant
who people sure admire.
Folks always stop and stare at him;
of Hank — they never tire.
If I grow big and tall like Hank
a zoo will be my house
and folk will come and stare at me
and say, “That’s quite the mouse!”
I have a bunch of freckles
and I used to hate those spots
because I’m always getting bugged
about those wretched dots.
My sister loves to tease me
saying freckles multiply.
My brother says when I was born,
the doctor splattered dye.
My parents say my freckles mean
that I’m a special kid.
They’ve felt more like a punishment
for something bad I did.
But now I’ve new perspective
and with freckles I’ve no gripes,
for just this morning, at the store,
I saw a kid with stripes!
My dog is sleeping on my bed
deep in a doggy dream.
He’s woofing every now and then
and running, it would seem.
His paws and legs are twitching lots
and watching him is fun.
I can’t help wondering what it is
that causes him to run.
Could it be an alley cat
that’s teased him into chase?
Could it be another dog
that he is trying to race?
He must enjoy just running round
with that dog or cat,
because he never runs awake
for he is old and fat.
Mom took me the the opera
last Saturday at eight,
and soon I did discover,
it’s something that I hate.
The singers sang in voices,
I sure thought sounded bad,
and half the time those singers,
sure looked boiling mad!
The songs were in Italian,
so who knows what they said.
Then after intermission,
a singer was found dead.
The rest sang round his body
and acted really sad,
except for one fat singer
who smiled like he was glad.
His smile upset the others,
who frowned and waved their spears,
and when I looked at my mom,
I couldn’t believe her tears!
I figured that we’d soon leave
since Mom looked so upset.
I whispered, “Are we leaving?”
She whispered, “No, not yet.”
From there, things sure got ugly.
In fact, there was a fight!
That was the only part of it
I sort of liked all night.
The singer who was so fat
fought all the guys on stage,
and all the while those guys fought,
they sang — despite their rage!
Yes, opera’s quite confusing,
and my friends say I’m right!
There’s no guy in a million years
who’d sing while in a fight!
Last night I put my dollies
in bed to sleep with me
and lined them up, all ten of them,
as straight as they could be.
I covered them with blankets
so they would not be cold,
and said to them, “Now say your prayers.”
They did as they were told.
I slowly crawled into my bed
and got beneath my quilt,
and then I tried to go to sleep
but soon was filled with guilt.
For Alice was the doll who lay
the farthest from my side,
so would she think she wasn’t loved?
“Oh dear!” I softly cried.
So I got up and carefully
I rearranged us all.
Now I was in the middle —
then I heard Samatha fall.
For she’d been on the outside
and rolled right off the bed
and so I had to get back up
and bandage her poor head.
Throughout the night I had to keep
arranging all my dolls
because they all kept poking me
or taking nasty falls.
My dolls, today, are mad at me
and think that I’m not fair
for saying now I’ll only sleep
with Fred, my teddy bear!
My grandpa has a shiny head
because he has no hair.
My mother says he lost it,
and I just wonder where?
And so last week at grandpa’s,
I thought I’d look around.
I knew my gramps would like it,
if his lost hair — I found!
I searched inside his dresser
and rooted through his socks,
and in his bedroom closet,
I looked inside a box.
I climbed into the attic
and found no hair — just dust!
I searched in every cupboard
until I thought I’d bust!
Where Grandpa lost his own hair,
I really have no clue,
but just so I won’t lose mine,
I filled my hair with glue!
I shot a spitball at my friend
who sits three rows from me.
I shot it through a hollow pen
as straight as it could be.
Then happened a most awful thing
I sure did not intend.
That spitball flew another place
and didn’t go near my friend.
It hit my teacher, Mrs. Bell,
and stuck right to her nose!
Now, you can just imagine how
the whole darn class just froze.
My heart was pounding in my chest —
my hands began to sweat.
That spitball was a huge mistake
and filled me with regret.
What happened next was really strange
and still gives me a chill.
Mrs. Bell just stared at me
which made me feel quite ill.
I braced myself for what I thought
would be a dreadful shout.
I braced myself cause I was sure
the woman would shriek, “Out!”
Instead, she smiled and softly said,
“How much is three plus two?”
I was so stunned, I simply said,
“I haven’t got a clue.”
It’s been a whole entire month
since that fateful day,
and I expect you won’t believe
the next thing that I say.
That spitball still clings to her nose;
she doesn’t seem aware,
and just today, I noticed that
her spitball’s grown a hair!
My mom asked me to clean my room
and I just said, “No way!”
I got so mad I packed a bag —
I thought I’d run away.
So here I am with bag in hand
a block from my front lawn.
I packed a book and Ted, my bear,
and my mom knows I’m gone.
I told her I was leaving home.
She said, “I’ll miss you, Jack.”
I told her I was sick of home
and that I won’t be back.
She said she’d leave the door unlocked
in case I change my mind.
I told her not to look for me
cause me, she’d never find!
She said, “I guess you’ve made your choice.
I guess this is good-bye.”
But what surprised me most of all is —
she didn’t even cry!
I slammed the door when I left home
cause that sure makes her mad,
but now that I’m a block from home,
I just feel kind of sad.
The trouble is I’m scared of dogs;
I’m scared of big kids too,
and some of them I’m sure to meet
and then — what will I do?
I wish that I had thought of this
before I ran away,
cause if I go back to my house,
I’m not sure what to say.
There’s no doubt I’ll feel stupid!
I know I’ve acted mean,
so I suppose I’ll have to say
that now — my room I’ll clean!
The Lonely Meatball 