Derek the Donkey

Derek was a donkey

but stubborn like a mule,

and he was determined

to go to public school.

I know that must sound crazy,

as crazy as can be.

Donkeys are not scholars —

most people would agree.

But Derek was not average.

That donkey had a brain!

He taught himself to talk and read,

but how — I can’t explain.

and pleaded with Miss Dunn,

and placed him in grade one.

who was the school’s principal

So Derek found a school

And Derek was successful

in each and every class,

because that donkey never

acted like an ass!

The Grade 7 Dance

Our class’s dance was really dumb;

it was my first one ever.

And to the next one — will I go?

My answer is “Ha! NEVER!”

All the boys just ran around,

playing tag and yelling

while we girls discussed them all

and what they thought? No telling!

Later, Tara, who’s quite brave,

asked a boy to dance,

and he turned the brightest red

and, at her, did not glance.

He started swaying back and forth —

his dancing was so weird,

and as the couple strangely danced,

several kids just sneered.

When the song was at an end,

Tara left the floor,

and we girls decided then —

boys are quite a bore!

Yes, dances in the seventh grade

are just a waste of time,

but in grade eight, they might be fun

cause we’ll be in our prime!

Birthday Party Drama

My birthday was just yesterday,

and now I’m finally eight.

My birthday party was okay,

but it sure wasn’t great.

My mother hired Sam the Clown,

a really funny guy,

but clowns just freak out Sarah Jones,

and that girl sure can cry.

And then I fought with Henry Brown

who is a little creep.

The present that he brought for me,

he said he planned to keep.

I told him that the gift was mine

and wasn’t his to take.

I told him that he had to give,

or he wouldn’t get some cake.

Mom then told me, as the host,

I had to be polite,

and if dumb Henry did not give,

well — that was Henry’s right.

Later, Mrs. Brown arrived

to pick up Henry Brown,

and when she saw he had the gift,

you should have seen her frown.

She made him give me what was mine

while Henry stood and cried.

She made her son apologize,

and I smiled as he lied.

I know that Henry’s really mad,

no matter what he said,

and I expect when he got home,

he had to go to bed.

So though my party wasn’t great,

it wasn’t all that bad,

and I just can’t stop smiling

cause I know that Henry’s mad.

Sitting in This Tree

I’ve climbed this tree in our back yard

against my mother’s wishes.

The reason is she says I must

wash and dry the dishes.

She says since I am growing up

I need to learn to work.

Then something made me really mad —

my little sister’s smirk!

“It isn’t fair!” I shrieked too loud,

sounding kind of crazy.

The reason I was so darn mad

is cause my sister’s lazy.

“Beth can dry!” I said through tears.

“I shouldn’t do it all!”

“She’s too young,” my mother said,

and I began to bawl.

And so I’m sitting in this tree

as mad as I can get,

but climbing up this tree is now

sure something I regret.

Mom has spied me in this tree,

and you should see her frown.

The reason I’m still sitting here is

cause there’s no way down.

Our cat was rescued from this tree

cause fire fighters came,

and when Mom has to phone them soon,

I’ll hang my head in shame.

The next time that I’m mad at Mom,

as mad as I can be —

the only thing that I won’t do

is climb this stupid tree.

Sally’s First Laundry Day

Sally thought she’d do a wash

while Mom was in the yard

planting all the vegetables.

Sal thought it wouldn’t be hard.

She threw in dirty clothes she found,

some blue, some red, some white,

and several other colours.

She’d wash them with delight.

On the washer she read dials

and made the water “hot”.

Then she poured detergent in,

and I mean quite a lot.

Of course, she learned what not to do,

and she was really sad,

cause after drying all the clothes,

she saw that they looked bad!

Several things had shrunken lots,

and so could not be worn.

Sally ruined her favourite jeans,

and that sure made her mourn.

Dad’s white shirts were pinky pink,

just like Mom’s white skirt.

“But,” sobbed Sally to her folks,

“Notice — there’s no dirt!”

The Final Fit

Sarah was a bratty girl:

she wanted things her way,

and if she wasn’t happy,

she put on a display.

She’d pout and cry and stomp her foot.

She’d flop right on the floor,

and her mother would turn red

if they were in a store.

But then one day, while in a shop,

she threw her final fit,

because a big boy walking by

said she was just a twit.

When Sarah heard his words that day,

her fit came to a stop.

She look around, embarrassed,

at the people in the shop.

Now today, she’s not a brat.

In fact, she just spreads joy,

hoping that she’ll meet again

that truly handsome boy!

Benny Got a Pogo Stick

Benny got a pogo stick

which really was a shame,

cause pogoing his way through town

became his only aim.

He climbed up on his pogo stick,

and he began to bound,

plunging off whatever thing

that reckless twit-head found.

He pogoed off a great big rock!

He pogoed off a fence!

He pogoed off the neighbours’ dog

which made the neighbours tense.

He pogoed to a parking lot

and pogoed off some cars,

then pogoed to a children’s park

and off the monkey bars!

He unnerved everyone he met,

and none could make him stop,

until that silly, reckless boy

pogoed off a cop!

The Pillow Fight

Our pillow fight was lots of fun;

at least, it was at first.

In fact, we laughed hysterically

until our pillows burst.

Feathers filled my brother’s room

where we had had our fight.

Yes, cause of feathers everywhere,

the whole room turned to white.

And when we opened up the door,

some feathers filled the hall,

and then more floated down the stairs,

and that sure wasn’t all.

The family room and kitchen too

by feathers were consumed,

and when we saw them everywhere,

we knew that we were doomed.

When from the store, our mom returned,

she nearly lost her mind,

cause feathers floated everywhere,

so thick — she was half-blind!

I won’t describe what happened next,

but no doubt you can guess.

In the end, we had to clean

that truly horrible mess.

And so I must warn every kid

who wants to pillow fight.

For a month, once homework’s done,

you’ll vacuum every night!

The Final Argument

Bobby loved to argue lots.

In fact, that’s all he’d do.

Once he even argued that

the sky was never blue.

He argued that the world was flat,

and no way was it round.

He said, “If you’ll just take a look,

you’ll see how flat the ground.”

He once said down was really up

and that up was down.

He was just so ridiculous,

most said he was a clown.

But then one day, somebody said,

“You really are quite right.

You seem to know what is the truth

because you are so bright!”

Cause Bobby loved to argue lots,

he said, “That’s just not true.”

He said, “The point you’re missing is

I really have no clue!”

When Bobby heard his silly words,

he stopped and said no more.

The boy was so embarrassed that

he headed for the door.

Since that day, he’s changed a lot.

He’s different as can be,

cause anything someone will say,

he’ll smile and just agree.

I Want To Be a Cowboy

I want to be a cowboy.

I think it would be fun.

I’d get to ride a big horse.

I’d get to tote a gun.

I’d get to wear a big hat.

I’d buy one that is black,

and there’d be a leather vest

covering my back.

I’d spend my days relaxing,

just riding on my horse.

I’d look just like a hero

and act like one, of course.

But this will never happen.

There is no way, no how.

The trouble is I’m terrified

of each and every cow.

This poem was inspired by a post written by Herb Thiel on his terrific blog, “The Haps With Herb”, as well as by Herb’s black cowboy hat.