Cleaning My Room

The reason that I’m mad today

is cause my mom won’t let me play

until my room is neat and clean.

That’s why I think my mom is mean.

And so I’m standing by my bed;

my piles of junk fill me with dread.

What to do with all this stuff

makes my decisions really tough.

What should stay and what should go?

That’s the problem — I don’t know!

You see, I simply don’t have space

for all the things to have a place.

Two hours later, you can see

my room is tidy as can be.

Cleaning’s hard and time sure drags.

What really helps is lots of bags.

Mom’s been shopping all the while

I’ve cleaned my room and now can smile.

I couldn’t decide what I should trash

so took those bags and hid my stash.

It’s down beneath the basement stairs,

far from all parental glares,

hidden in the crawl space gloom.

Now I can play — I’ve cleaned my room!

Next Christmas

We’re taking down our Christmas tree

cause holidays are done.

Tomorrow is a school day

which means I won’t have fun.

I won’t be watching Christmas shows.

I won’t be sleeping late.

I won’t be eating candy canes.

My days won’t feel that great.

I hope the time won’t be too long.

I hope the months go fast,

so Christmas will be “coming soon”

and not be in the past.

But, for now, I’ll sit right down,

and tears I will resist,

and, for Santa, what I’ll do

is start my next year’s list.

New Year’s Resolutions

My New Year’s Resolutions,

are right here on this list,

and judging by the number,

there’s nothing that I’ve missed.

I’ve said I’ll walk the dog each day

and pick up all his poo.

I’ve vowed I’ll get my homework done

and even study too.

I’ve promised I’ll no longer tease

my little brother, Jake.

I’ve stated I will shovel snow

and grass and leaves, I’ll rake.

I’ve said I’ll make my bed each day

and keep my bedroom neat,

and with that final promise,

my list is sure complete.

So now I sit and watch the clock;

my New Year’s list is done,

but acting like “an angel” means

that next year won’t be fun.

My Sandwich

I made myself a sandwich

and cause I thought I could

make the best one ever

with all things that taste good.

I put those things on white bread

because I love each one —

mustard, pickles, relish,

and honey, just for fun.

I loaded on some slices

of good old cheddar cheese

and ran out to the garden

and got myself some peas.

I put on some baloney,

and then some marmalade.

This sandwich was to be

the greatest ever made.

So when it was all ready,

I took a big, huge bite,

and as I chewed my sandwich,

the taste was just not right!

And so I’ve learned a lesson

cause really — I’m not dumb —

my sandwiches taste best of all

when they are made by Mom.

Other Things 24 – Poemlet 18

“The Magic Running Shoes”

My mom bought me new runners,

and they’re the brightest blue.

I also think they’re magic —

there’s nothing they can’t do!

I’ve noticed that they make me

run faster through my days,

and when I’m playing baseball,

I make the greatest plays.

It really is exciting

to have these running shoes,

but cause they make me play so hard,

I think I’ll take a snooze.

The Christmas Pig

A mean old woman bought a pig

cause pork she liked to eat.

She planned to fatten up the hog

and named the poor pig “Pete”.

Now Pete was not a stupid beast —

he knew what she had planned,

and starring on a menu was

just more than he could stand!

Pete’s pen was right beside her house;

its drainpipe stretched right down,

and each night Pete would dream about

pork baked a golden brown.

Since Christmas Eve was coming soon,

a great escape Pete planned.

He’d climb the drainpipe to the roof

where Santa then would land.

Finally, Christmas Eve arrived;

Pete shimmied to his fate.

He hid behind the chimney praying

Santa wouldn’t be late.

At last, the poor pig heard the sound

of sleigh bells in the sky.

He spotted Rudoph’s shining nose

and watched the reindeer fly.

They landed right beside the pig

who grunted with delight

and greeted Santa with a hug,

then told him of his plight.

Soon Pete clung on to Dancer’s back

and flew through clouds so murky.

All the while, he thanked the stars

that he was not a turkey.

Waiting for Santa

For Santa Claus I’m waiting here

crouched down behind this chair,

cause never having met him

is just more than I can bear.

I have so many questions ‘bout

Rudolph and the team;

if I don’t get some answers soon,

I know that I will scream.

I want to know how reindeer fly!

I want to know how fast!

I want to know how they can see

if skies are overcast!

I want to know how long they sleep

once they have made their trip!

I want to know why, from a roof,

their little hooves don’t slip!

I’m yawning now and kind of tired —

I think I’ll rest my head,

but I won’t go to sleep because

I ————-

Other Things 23 – Poemlet 17

“Short and Tall”

My brother, Steve, has gotten tall,

as tall as our own dad.

He likes to call me “Shorty”

because it makes me mad.

He rests his elbow on my head

until I scream out “Steven!”

But I know soon there’ll come a day

when I will sure get even.

You see, I wear my brother’s clothes

he wore at age eleven.

Oh yes — he’ll be the short one soon,

‘cause I am only seven!

The Christmas Concert

The Christmas concert sure was fun

though Miss Blake’s still upset.

Because so many things went wrong,

she’s not recovered yet.

The truth is Clarence is a pain

so got what he deserved,

and since that evening, Clarence

has been thoroughly unnerved.

Clarence Henry was the star

of Miss Blake’s Christmas play.

She said his acting was “Superb!”

on each rehearsal day.

Yes, Clarence Henry really thought

that he was just so great,

for little did Miss Blake or he

know what would be his fate.

The concert was a big event

and everybody came.

Clarence Henry told us all

his role would bring him fame.

The play would start at eight o’clock;

the hour did arrive,

and still today, I wonder how

old Clarence did survive.

In the centre of the stage

he stood and all was still.

The sight of all those happy folks

sure seemed to make him ill.

Clarence Henry smiled a bit

and then his eyes just rolled,

and then in front of everyone

poor Clarence seemed to fold.

He fell into the Christmas tree

which fell on top of Meg,

who started screaming frantically,

“I think it broke my leg!”

A bunch of girls began to scream,

and some girls even cried.

Because poor Clarence lay so still,

they thought that he had died.

Backstage there was a billy goat

we’d borrowed for the play.

The beast was tied securely

and just munching on some hay.

While the girls were screaming

and poor Clarence lay onstage,

suddenly, that goat was freed

which started his rampage.

They want to know who freed that goat

which was the final straw

in ending that fiasco,

but I’m certain — NO ONE SAW!

Eventually, it all worked out

and Clarence sure was right.

Just like our star predicted —

he’s been famous since that night!

This poem was originally published in 2001, in my book, The New Toe – poems to tickle your funnybone, and then again last December on this blog.

Sisterhood

My sister’s home from college

and that sure makes me smile,

because I know her secret —

I’ve known it for a while.

I told her that I’d seen it,

her little tattooed rose,

but both my folks know nothing.

It’s underneath her clothes.

My sister now plays Barbies

with me, from three to four,

and after makes me coco,

the drink that I adore.

She’s never been so loving

to me, her little sis,

and when she leaves for college,

my sister I will miss.

As long as we play Barbies

and have our coco hot,

I’ll keep her rose my secret,

the only one I’ve got.