Children’s Poetry and Other Things
“The Drag”
I have to walk our great big dog
whose name is Mr. Wag,
and since I am a little kid,
he takes me for a drag.
Waggy drags me down the street,
then drags me to the park,
and as we go from tree to tree,
at other dogs, he’ll bark.
These daily walks are not much fun,
though Wag would not agree,
and I’ll survive them, I expect,
if cats he does not see.
I have to write a story
for Mrs. Burton’s class,
and if I don’t write something,
I won’t receive a pass.
And so I think my story
will be about a spy,
or maybe a magician,
or maybe just some guy.
Or maybe I will write
about some little pigs,
and they will build some houses —
one brick, one hay, one twigs.
Mom says I can’t write stories
the same as ones I’ve read,
so as I lie here thinking,
I’m really filled with dread.
Cause I can think of nothing
no matter how I try.
Yes, when it comes to stories,
I’m really not your guy.
And so I wrote my story —
could think of nothing more,
and Mrs. Burton will agree,
my day was quite a bore!
I used to love phys.ed. at school,
but lately, I do not.
It’s cause of what we have to do;
it’s dancing that’s being taught.
With Suzy Cameron in my arms,
I know I turn beet red.
Instead of dancing with that girl,
I wish I could drop dead.
I step on Suzy’s toes a lot.
She steps on my toes too.
Why we must learn to dance at all,
I haven’t got a clue.
I never talk to her at all,
and neither do I glance.
I act as though I am alone,
the whole time that we dance.
Yes, I’ll ignore her to the end,
and here’s the reason why —
if she finds out she’s my true love,
I know that I will die!
“Mary’s Cowboy Hat”
Mary bought a cowboy hat
and wears the hat to school.
The trouble is a cowboy hat
is not considered “cool”.
But Mary loves that cowboy hat
so wears the hat each day,
and cause she is so confident,
that hat is going to stay.
Now all the kids wear cowboy hats
every day to school,
and even though they hate the things,
they think that Mary’s cool.
The front hall closet’s where I’m hid,
behind a winter coat,
and as I stand here quietly,
I know that soon I’ll gloat.
You see, my sister, yesterday,
scared me half to death.
I vowed that I’d get even,
once I’d caught my breath.
She laughed and called me “Scaredy-cat”.
I yelled and said, “You’ll pay!”
And cause I am committed,
I’ve not gone out to play.
I know, in time, she’ll walk this hall.
I’ll leap out and scream “BOO!”
for if I want to get revenge —
that’s what I have to do.
I must be patient, that I know,
if my plan’s going to work.
Yes, I can see her screaming loud
and calling me a jerk.
Two hours I have hidden here
and this place is a bore.
My legs are tired of standing still,
so I’ll sit on the floor.
I’m now at dinner with my folks
and my sister too,
and I’m feeling really dumb,
but now know what I’ll do.
You see, my mother found me
in the closet on the floor.
She said that she’d heard something —
the sound was my own snore.
My new plan is much better!
My sister will feel dread,
for I’ll scream “BOO!” at ten o’clock
from right beneath her bed!
Little Bob was quite the boy.
His favourite thing was to annoy
anyone who was around,
and annoy them he was bound.
He loved to hiccup really loud
and of his hiccups — he seemed proud!
These hiccups truly were not fact,
cause Little Bob put on an act.
At school, Bob was just a brat.
He’d scream, then say he’d seen a rat,
so all the kids would start to cry,
too young to know it was a lie.
Bob’s teacher, Mrs. Brown, was tough.
One day, she’d simply had enough.
Bob was “seeing” rats galore,
and screaming til she screamed, “NO MORE!”
She took Bob by his little hand,
and at the front, she made him stand.
She told her class to, at Bob, stare,
and, Mrs. Brown, at Bob, did glare.
As the class all stared ahead,
Bob’s whole face soon turned bright red.
He stood there feeling like a fool,
and after — saw no rats at school.
Embarrassment is sure no fun,
and with it, Bob was surely done,
so his advice for all who clown,
is to avoid that Mrs. Brown!
“Flowers”
I picked my mom some flowers
as yellow as can be,
and as I gave them to her,
I said, “Cause you love me.”
She said, “You are my sweet boy,
and thank you, oh so much.
These flowers are just lovely,
and these, my heart, do touch.”
She knelt and then she hugged me,
so happy she was cryin’
cause there’s no better flower,
than a dandelion.
I really have a tummy ache;
I guess it’s tummy flu.
I’m on my back and groaning lots —
that’s all that I can do.
Thank heavens that I skipped my lunch
and only ate a snack,
cause two whole hours later,
that darn bug did attack.
My snack was just potato chips,
some ice cream, and some cake,
and then I washed down popcorn
with a little chocolate shake.
The corn chips and the chocolate bars —
I only ate a few.
Yes, I’m sure glad I skipped my lunch
before I got this flu!
I was really mad today
and here’s the reason why.
The Tooth Fairly just didn’t show up
and that sure made me cry.
The biggest tooth I ever grew
fell out right after dinner,
and since that darn tooth was so big,
I knew I had a winner.
I’d thought of all the stuff I’d buy
which really made me glad,
but since that fairy didn’t pay up,
this morning I was mad.
But now, I have a lot of cash
because I’m sure not dumb.
That crazy fairy missed her chance —
I sold my tooth to Mom!
“Irresponsible”
Norman had to mow the lawn
until he cut the cord.
“You must be more responsible!”
was what his father roared.
Then Norman had to pull some weeds;
ten minutes felt like hours.
“You must be more responsible,”
said Mom, “You’ve pulled the flowers!”
Norman’s irresponsible,
but this fact makes him smirk.
His irresponsibility
saves him a lot of work.
The Lonely Meatball 